Hey Reader,

Welcome to the Meet Your Monster email series! For the next 3 weeks, we'll be exploring all the dark corners of your psyche so we can meet these adorable inner gremlins and begin a profound process of integration.

At the end of the series, we're having a Monster Playdate! On Saturday, April 27th from 1pm - 4 pm CDT, we'll bring all our Monsters out to be lovingly witnessed. These playdates are so much fun - they get us out of our head, often unlocking the inherent humor and creativity our Inner Monsters possess.

You can register for that workshop right here. I'll give you more details about the event and remind you throughout this series.

Let's begin

I want to start by telling you that every single part of you is worthy and loveable…even and especially your Monsters!

This is an absolutely crucial component of all parts work. True shadow work (that’s what playing with your Monster is) can only be done when you begin with the foundational belief that all parts of you are inherently “good.”

In fact, as we integrate our monsters, we often find them to be the most powerful parts of ourselves! The only reason they became shameful or grotesque to us is because we’ve actively repressed them, usually because of messaging we received from parents, caregivers, friends, and society at large.

Introducing Your Parts

Meeting Your Monster and Monster Playdates are essentially a parts work practice.

Parts work is a methodology where we choose to acknowledge and embody just one part of our own multi-faceted experience. We can work with different parts in isolation to discover what they want, what they need, what they’re afraid of, etc.

For the purpose of this practice - Meeting Your Monster - we are going to focus on 3 of your parts: your Monster, your Manager, and your Metta Self.

Let’s get to know them!

Your Monster

Your Monster is any part of you that you do not actively adore or identify with.

You might feel afraid of this part…as can sometimes happen with a part of you that feels a lot of rage. Or you may feel shame around this part, especially if this part desires something that you think is taboo.

Your monster almost always contains a lot of unexpressed emotion and feels sensational in your body - that is, when your monster is activated, you feel it in your body as a sensation (or many sensations).

Your Monster is a deeply feeling part of you. I think of it as the animal part of me, or a child part of me. This part is just a big ball of feelings and sensations. You cannot control your Monster, nor what your Monster feels. You can repress it - throw it in the basement, so to speak - but eventually, it will get out and cause havoc.

When you purposely let your Monster out to play, it is much less likely to throw a tantrum to get its way.

We'll be spending a lot of time with our Monsters in this series, but for now, maybe just put your hand over your heart and tell yourself “I know that every single part of me is worthy and inherently good inside.”

*You may find yourself feeling some resistance to this or any other part of this practice. Fear not! We’ll address any blocks or resistance a little later in the email series!

Your Manager

Your Manager is the part of you that is in charge of your conscious identity and keeping you socially accepted. This is the part that has dedicated itself to collecting all kinds of data and creating stories from that data to keep you in relation to others.

You might think of this as your Ego. You have a particular idea of who you are and who you think you should be and your Manager is in charge of making sure that all stays in tact. Again, to keep your sense of self/identity secure so that you can find belonging with others!

Take a moment to give Your Manager some gratitude!! Often our Manager can feel very underappreciated for all it does. We will eventually want our Manager to step aside so we can meet our Monster(s). I find the Manger is much more willing to stand down if it feels seen and appreciated first.

You might say “I see you Manager. I see how hard you work to keep me safe. You are always looking out for me, staying vigilant so that I don’t come to any harm. I appreciate you. I love you. Thank you.”

Your Metta Self

I've named this part the Metta Self for a few reasons. First alliteration - I like it.

Next, "metta" is a buddhist term for "loving kindness," which absolutely applies to this part. And finally, the Metta Self is a play on words for "meta" - meaning "showing explicit awareness of itself". This is a nod to the Metta Self as being essentially your Higher Loving Presence.

This is the whole self or the integrated self - the part that knows you are whole and perfect exactly as you are. This part is a bit more abstract and has the capacity to meet the world (and all your parts) with a sense of humor, radical acceptance, and loving kindness.

This highest self is not always actively running the show, but when it is you know it! Metta Self shows up with the following characteristics, as defined by Dick Schwartz, inventor of Internal Family Systems: the highest or Metta Self exudes confidence, calmness, creativity, clarity, curiosity, courage, compassion, and connectedness.

If you are in one of these states, you know you have accessed the Metta Self.

Your Metta Self knows with absolute certainty that every single part of you is loveable and worthy exactly as it is. It never needs you to change or fix yourself or be different. It is the impermeable truth of love that exists in opposition to all the programming we receive throughout our lifetimes that we are either good/bad or worthy/unworthy.

These three parts (and many other parts) make up your Whole Self.

Take some time to get to know these three parts of yourself.

Your Manager is almost always in the driver seat. Still, you can pause and notice that you are indeed thinking and creating story and meaning. That's your Manager Self.

To get to know your Monster Self and Metta Self, you could think of a time when you've been "possessed" by these parts - when they've shoved their way into the driver's seat. What did it feel like?

In the next email, we'll start packing our Magic Backpack - things you'll need to meet your Monsters (including some safety tips!).

Sweet Dreams,

Julie
The Dream Witch

P.S. The next cohort of Daddy Issues is scheduled to start on September 3rd. Reply to this email if you want more details or to get on the waiting list. The Monster Playdate is an integral part of Daddy Issues!